On this St. Patrick's Day, I think that it's time we addressed an anomaly of nature that our government has completely failed to legislate against. While we are spending our time trying to ensure that we remain the only nation capable of complete nuclear annihilation, a quiet threat faces us, a crime against nature unlike any other: the four-leaf clover.
Lest you dismiss this threat as harmless, let me remind you of what the four-leaf clover represents. It flies in the face of the culture that normal clover with three leaves have built. How are they supposed to feel with four-leaf clover among them? It's a threat to their very existence. After all, what if four-leaf clover increase to the point that they outnumber three-leaf clover?
Defenders of the four-leaf clover would argue they pose no threat to the larger clover society. After all, four-leaf clover don't necessarily reproduce other four-leaf clover, do they? If they did, wouldn't there be a lot more four-leaf clover around?
We cannot fall prey to that argument. First, even a few four-leaf clover present a threat to the clover culture as a whole that cannot be tolerated. Second, it supports the overwhelming scientific evidence that growing a fourth leaf is a choice. If we continue to condone the existence of four-leaf clover, it's inevitable that more and more clover will choose to grow fourth leaves. If that happens, then the increase in four-leaf clover will be devastating to three-leaf clover values.
The true crime is that our government has done nothing to stop this unnatural behavior. If there is time to monitor the probation of billionaires on house arrest for stealing large amounts of money from people who used to be millionaires, there is no excuse for not addressing the four-leaf clover crisis.
Lest you dismiss this threat as harmless, let me remind you of what the four-leaf clover represents. It flies in the face of the culture that normal clover with three leaves have built. How are they supposed to feel with four-leaf clover among them? It's a threat to their very existence. After all, what if four-leaf clover increase to the point that they outnumber three-leaf clover?
Defenders of the four-leaf clover would argue they pose no threat to the larger clover society. After all, four-leaf clover don't necessarily reproduce other four-leaf clover, do they? If they did, wouldn't there be a lot more four-leaf clover around?
We cannot fall prey to that argument. First, even a few four-leaf clover present a threat to the clover culture as a whole that cannot be tolerated. Second, it supports the overwhelming scientific evidence that growing a fourth leaf is a choice. If we continue to condone the existence of four-leaf clover, it's inevitable that more and more clover will choose to grow fourth leaves. If that happens, then the increase in four-leaf clover will be devastating to three-leaf clover values.
The true crime is that our government has done nothing to stop this unnatural behavior. If there is time to monitor the probation of billionaires on house arrest for stealing large amounts of money from people who used to be millionaires, there is no excuse for not addressing the four-leaf clover crisis.
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